a little daughter turns one !

Imagine reading an action packed fast paced thoroughly enjoyable page turner, with the twist that the pages cannot be turned at will. It is set to a 24 hour timer. We cannot do anything about it. We cannot go back to a specific page to re-read a particularly pleasing phrase, nor can we sneak up few pages ahead to break a mini-suspense. The book has to be appreciated at its pace, which in a way adds up to its appeal. Now, as this book completes one glorious chapter, impressions from random pages breeze across the memory lanes, in no particular sequence.

***
You are supposed to cry, to gasp in the first burst of oxygen. but your lips are zipped, your eyes are shut tight, your face is squirmed, all reflecting the tremendous journey you have just been through. The doctor has just - this very minute - taken you out of your cozy residence of the past months and brought you out into the world, into the chirping dawn outside. but your remain silent. He wraps you in a towel, takes you to a warmed up table, lays you down gently as i follow him helplessly. He gives a gentle practiced rub on your chest. The fluids in your tiny lungs gush out and there is now space for air. Aha, the oxygen rushes in as you let us hear your voice. No, it is not a piercing splitting cry, nor is it a whimper, somewhere in between..that cry ensures the lungs get their supply and your systems makes the magic switch to your first independence. The doctor smiles, looks at me and says, congratulations.

***
Your have two angles to watch the world. In the most common, most boring one,  you are lying on your bed and looking at the ceiling. Everybody is looking at you from such a great height, everything looks upside down, sort of one dimensional. There is no depth perception. And there is always that roof. Unchanging. Every once in a while, different faces get into the frame, make different sounds, and leave. Then there is that other view, when somebody holds you vertically. You get a better angle of vision, you can see things for what they are, at their right proportions and when they carry you around, at the right pace and distances. This view is definitely better than the other one ! Why then do they leave me down, to that boring ceiling. Today, for the first time, you decide to make this point clear. When they put you down, you protest...you open your mouth and let out a wail. Here they come running, they pick you up. You get back you preferred view. Wow, what a discovery ! You reward them with a smile.

***
They say canyons - as in the Grand Canyon - are formed not by the sheerness of force but by their persistence. This is something we need to learn from babies. The first time I noticed this was when you were trying to turn over by yourself. It was not a sudden thing but a very gradual result of weeks of effort where you were doing nothing else but that. Day in and day out, all your waking hours, you were trying to turn over. First on one side, you lift your one shoulder up as much as you can turn your whole body and try to turn over as much as you can, then you fall back, then you try again, and again, and again. The same process happened when you learnt to sit by yourself. And now when you are trying to take that first free step, it is the same intensity, same persistence...

***
You are playing by yourself and probably getting bored. You look around for some new toy and spot your sleeping brother. Your mind is made, the target is set. You move to him in a  focused crawl. You get over him and let your fingers play over and make little sounds. He does not move. You find his hairs. Hmmm, this looks interesting. You grab it in your little palms, exert a surprising force and pull it towards you. This definitely is funny ! You let out a laugh. Your big brother sits up with a start, rubs his eyes and starts to cry.

***
For a very long time, your singular readout for exploration of your environment is to grab the objects and put them in your mouth. One fine day, as you stand holding a little table you spot something interesting, grab it and  promptly bring it near the mouth. But then you stop and look around with those big brightly lit eyes until you spot me. Then you hold aloft the thing as if showing me and move it slowly to your mouth. I say slowly "no".  Very deliberately you keep it back and look at me with eyes drooling innocence, as if asking "i kept it back. is it okay now?"